I'm ashamed to say it but last month I signed up with America Online for a 2-month free trial program out of morbid curiosity. I never intended on keeping the account so I decided to call in to cancel. It went downhill from here, and you'll see why. Click Read More for the relay call transcript and explanation of TTY lingo.
Before I begin going over the transcript, let me explain a few of the TTY lingo in use.
ga - Go Ahead, similar to CB Lingo over, tells the other person that it's their turn to type.
sk - Stop Keying, to inform the party that the call is over. If the other party responds with "sksk" then the call hangs up. Otherwise they may add on before they say "sksk".
qq - Question
That should be enough. Onward to the transcript.
IP RELAY RO 6543F NBR CALLING
PLS QQ GA
Hello please get me 1-888-265-8008 ga
DIALING 888 265 8008 PLS HD
RING 1 (RECORDING) (M)
(COLLECTING INFO PLS HD) thk u
for calling america online this call
may be monitored and recorded
pls hd on for the 1st available acct
consultant (sounds
professional) (RECORDING)
(HOLDING) (hd) (hd) (hd) (hd)
(hd) (hd) (hd) (hd) (hd) (hd) (hd) (hd)
(hd) (hd) RING 1 (M) hello
this is paul america online how may i
help u have a better experience
online today qq ga
Hello, I would like to cancel my account, master screen
name
"GangisUCT2" please. ga
So far, so good.
i m sorry to hear that but i m
glad that i m the one that got ur call
because i m going to do
everything i possibly can to help u today my
name is paul cld i get ur name
pls qq
Uh-oh. Another overly motivated rep, I’m going to have
some fun with him and lay on a sob story to back myself up.
Craig L---. I'm cancelling because of money problems -- I'm
a
student, and I recently lost my job so I have to tighten my
belt as
much as I can ga
(WHILE U TYPED how u doing
today i m sorry to hear that i m going
to do everything i possibly can
to help u with that cld i get ur screen
name pls qq ga
Didn’t I just already give him the screen name?
GangisUCT2 ga
craig can u spell ur last name
for me pls qq ga
L - - - ga
thk u for ur privacy and
security can u insert the security question what
is ur mother s maiden name qq
ga
Please note that he asked for the MAIDEN name…
------ ga
(WHILE U TYPED (sounds like
crunching)cld it be anything else qq
ga
um, no. my mom's maiden name was - - - - - -, - - - - - -
ga
i need ur mother s middle name
pls qq ga
From maiden name to middle name… Err…
middle name is - - - - - ga
great thk u for helping me
verify ur acct now u mentioned u wanted to
cancel ur acct because u can t
afford it qq
yes ga
is (WHILE U TYPED it any other
reason causing u to want to cancel
tonight qq)
More sob story. Yes, I admit, I’m lying here but I
didn’t want to keep the account that I don’t even use at all.
no, it's money issues. I have barely enough money to live
off ramen ga
ok and are u aware that this
acct is on a free trial until june the 23rd qq
ga
yes, I am. I recently decided to get AOL and when I lost my
job, I did a
quick look at my income and expenses, so I want have it
taken care of
as soon as possible, besides I don't use it very much at
all, only
maybe a couple hours a week ga
ok i m sorry to hear that you
ve lost ur job when u do use the computer
what do u use it for is it for
entertainment or is it for school qq ga
Note that he’s trying to fish some information out of me
to keep me on the roster. Not gonna work. I cook up a few more embellishments.
I use it for writing my computer programs and transferring
gigabytes
of information weekly ga
ok thk u for sharing that info
with me since you ve mentioned that you
ve lost ur job if u use aol
keyword job j o b that word will be great for u
because it will allow u to view
all of the job availabilities in ur area ga
thank you, but it's all right. I just want to get rid of
this account please
ga
ok because u are a new member
with america online and we do want
to work with all of our new
members this is what i m going to do for u i
m going to extend ur free trial
all the way until july 23rd to give u plenty
of time to use the internet to
ur advantage to look for a job and if u do
not have a job by that time
simply pick up the phone and give us a call
at 1 888 265 8008 and we will
do our best to help u with ur situation ga
Boy, he’s not giving up. Must have been the third time I
told him to cancel it. This is where I start to be curt.
I appreciate that, but I already have a broadband
connection, and it is
not necessary. I appreciate you trying to help me, but it
would help a
lot more if I don't have to worry about this. Really, thank
you. ga
ok when u log onto ur aol acct
are u using ur telephone line or ur high
speed acct qq ga
high speed ga
great congratulations on going
high speed are u using dsl or cable for
ur high speed qq ga
I get a little angry here, but in reality I was laughing
my ass off.
With all due respect, sir, what does it matter? I want to
get rid of my
account. Period. Thank you for trying to keep me on but I
really don't
need to worry about this. ga
well the reason i asked because
u want to cancel because u want to
save money but i think u would
be saving more money on the free trial
then u would on the broadband
acct realistically u can keep ur aol acct
for just 4.95 a month after ur
free trial ga
Finally dropped the bomb.
I am fine. Thank you, now I want to cancel. I'm sorry, but
I want to
cancel the account NOW. Let's get to the point, please. ga
I got dropped right away to an answering machine,
without as much of a goodbye. Oh well. Sayonara, PAUL, if that’s your real name…
(ANS MACH) ur acct will be
cancelled automaticallyon the 23rd of
this month and ur cancellation
confirmation nbr is 852 137 344 (sounds
friendly) thk u for calling
america online u have a great day ga sk
sksksk
(HUNG UP ANOTHER CALL QQ) GA
No thank you. That guy was pretty thick, I think I lost a
few brain cells
there just talking to him. Have a good day, bye. ga to sk
(u too ) THK U IP RELAY RO
6543F BYE SKSK
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